24)

“Hey. Do you wanna pick up my shift tomorrow? I--”
“No.”
“Well, it’s just that I have my mother coming in to town for tomorrow and tomorrow only, and she was hoping to spend the day with me…”
“No.”
“Please? You’re the last person I can ask… everyone else has other commitments. Do you have anything going on that you can postpone or—"
“I have nothing going on.”
“Oh, well then—"
“I just don’t want to work.”
“It’s just… my mother just surprised me with the news that I was coming in without really giving any thought as to what my schedule was—"
“Poor planning on her part then.”
“But I can't not see her… it’s my mom, and I haven’t seen her in close to a year…”
“…I really don’t want to work.”
“Why not? You’ll get some extra cash in your pocket…”
“Yeah, but I hate work.”
“Yeah, so do I, but… there are other advantages…”
“Like what?”
“Well... you won’t be wracked with guilt over not allowing someone to see their family…”
"...you're guilt tripping me?"
"Yes. It's working though, isn't it?"
“…”
“…”
“…”
“…”
“Damnit…”

23)

“You know all those TV shows that are based in the 60’s?”
“Yeah?”
“And how there’s always a scene in every show where the entire family gathers around a black and white TV with fuzzy reception—watching something like the Beatles on Ed Sullivan?”
“Yeah?”
“It always looks so charming and antiquated.”
“So? What's the point?”
“Well… I mean, it’s just that here we are, gathered around your laptop, waiting for some stupid YouTube video to load… and you’re texting your girlfriend with your iPhone—and you probably got something like three different chats open and active at the moment… and I can’t help but think that this could never look charming and antiquated. Even thirty years from now. It’ll just look really annoying and extremely excessive.”
“Eh. I don’t know about that… this will probably have its charms years from now once more advanced technology comes out.”
“…oh God. It's going to get worse…”

22)

“The Beach Boys’ Smile Sessions comes out tomorrow.”
“They’re still around?”
“No. It’s their famous album that was never finished or released.”
“Ah.”
“It’s been 44 years in the making, and I’m seriously freaking out at the idea of finally listening to it after all these years.”
“Sounds pretty exciting.”
“Oh God. They’ve been releasing snippets around everywhere, and it’s taking a whole lot of willpower to not listen to them… just because I don’t want to ruin the initial experience of listening to the album. It needs to be pure, unfiltered by any expectations about any particular songs… and then I'll just let the brilliance finally wash all over me all at once.”
“…Cool.”
“Seriously, I’ve been looking forward to this since the moment I knew this album existed. It’s been years and years and years.”
“…so what are you going to look forward to once the initial thrill of this album wears off?”
“…”
“…”
“…I don’t know.”

21)

“So… what you are saying is that you’ve never seen “2001: A Space Odyssey” before?”
“Yep.”
“…how?”
“I don’t know.”
“You do know that it’s pretty much the greatest science fiction movie of all time, right?”
“If you say so…”
“Not to mention it’s considered to be one of the most important and influential films of all time....”
“Well, I’ve never heard of it before, so...”
“How the hell have you never heard of it?”
“I don’t know.”
“This is just… oh, this boggles my mind.”
“I’m not a big movie person, like you are.”
“You should be watching the damn thing right now, really...”
“Maybe not now, but…”
“Seriously. I mean, you should have seen it already.”
“Well... again, I hadn’t heard of it before now.”
“That’s really not a good excuse.”
“…I feel like it is.”
“It isn’t.”

20)

“Do you know how many friends I have on Facebook?”
“How many?”
“I have 300 friends on Facebook.”
“OK. Are you bragging about this or…?”
“Do you know how many of those friends I actually talk to in real life?”
“I don’t know.”
“Three. I talk to about three.”
“So? What’s the point?”
“I mean, it didn’t always use to be that way… I used to actually talk to quite a few of them--or hang out... do things. But now it’s just… the only way I ever communicate is through a stupid website.”
“I mean, you still have people’s phone numbers, right?”
“Yeah. Some.”
“Then you can still talk to them. Just pick up the phone and arrange a time to hang out with them.”
“Yeah, but…”
“It’s not that hard, really.”
“I know, it’s just…”
“…?”
“…talking to them on Facebook’s much easier.”

19)

“You know what?”
“What?”
“I’m just gonna go ahead and say it…”
“……..yes?”
"Just gonna get it off my chest... say it out loud, and if anyone disagrees... so be it."
"...what is it?"
"..."
"..."
“Back in the day, The Simpsons was a great show.”
"..."
"It really was."
“…umm, way to go out on a limb there.”
“What?”
“You made it sound like you were going to say something that everyone didn't already agree upon.”
"Huh? Does everybody love The Simpsons?"
"Uhh... yeah."
"Oh."
"..."
"Are you sure?"

18)

“…so yeah. All told, I think it’s his best album in about 10 years or so. It’s that good.”
“Wait a minute…”
“What?”
“Is the album even out yet?”
“…um, no. It’s out in about three weeks.”
“Oh. So you’re one of those people.”
“What?”
“You download every little thing illegally.”
“Well—I mean—"
“You do realize that you are stealing, right?”
“Well—"
“And it’s not even about the fact that most of the record companies make craploads of money, although it does screw over all the little guys who worked on the album too. It’s the fact that you’re basically taking something that isn’t meant to be free. ”
“Well—"
"It's created this whole culture where everything is taken for granted--you're not really enjoying what you're listening to because it means nothing to you, you gave up nothing to acquire it. So the actual piece of music means nothing to the user--as long as it's conveniently accessed, that's all that matters."
"..."
“And the worst part is that people just download every little bit of music they can get their hands on—and then they maybe spend a brief moment with each piece, and then just forget about it and move on to some other piece of music you've downloaded. So you’re not even enjoying what you steal—you’re basically stealing for the hell of it.”
“…”
“I don't know. It just kind of irks me, is all.”
“They’ve been streaming the album on their website.”
“…oh?”
“It’s been there for a couple weeks, actually.”
“Well then. I didn’t mean to accuse you in that case.”
“Well… I mean, I downloaded it anyway, but…”